Pie Rat

Everyone was coming off an adrenaline rush - the crew had just finished a seige on a merchant vessel they had crossed paths with, and the encounter had drawn to a close. It had been a tighter fight than anyone anticipated, but as they boarded the craft, the fruit of their labor lay before them.

Barrels of gunpowder, crates of foodstuffs, and an abundance of other valuable goods. Save for the odd crate or two that was caught in the crossfire, the ship was in good condition, and its contents worth quite a sum. Ino and Tetsuha were discussing with other members of their crew whether they should take the whole boat or just its items - meanwhile, some of the others were scouting out exactly what they had on their hands. King, in particular, was taking inventory, occasionally slipping a coin or item of jewlery into his pocket. Old habits die hard.

"Now now, Rat. Watch those hands. Everyone must get their fair share, no? Be careful or I will deduct it twofold from your payment..." Jean struts up with a book and quill, eyebrow raised. Seems he'd seen King take some of the ill-gotten goods from himself. Even the most lenient quartermaster would be displeased.

"It's all goin' to the same place, right?" Still, he seemed to take note and keep his hands just a bit more to himself. Just a bit. He was clearly drawn to the more obvious, shiny things - a frankly comical looking bag of gold trinkets that was spilled onto the ground, for instance. He rifled through it like a kid digging through a bin of LEGOs, before something else seemed to grab his attention. He swiftly turned his head to the side, sniffing at the air. "... Do you smell that?"

Jean is already turned to the side, transfixed. His head is held aloft, turned up, eyes closed in wonder. He's caught the scent too. "Indeed I do. What is that... blueberry? Blackberries? And pastries..." Jean looks at King, intrigued.

Without another word, King stands up from the gold pile and scurries over to another box on the opposite side of the hold. He takes a prybar he brought with and - with some difficulty, levering down on the prybar nearly lifts his feet off the ground - wrenches the top off, revealing the contents inside.

Just as Jean had said - dozens of individually packaged baked goods, each wrapped in a small paper package, but unmistaktable in their scent. A little fruit juice seemed to have leaked out and stained the bags, but they were in otherwise fine shape. King's eyes went wide.

"Oh, wow. I... didn't realize people shipped these. You'd think they wouldn't keep."

Jean walks over, transfixed by the sight. It's clear that he's thinking it's too good to be true, and yet here it is, a crate full of pastries, wafting their glorious smell to everyone. He daintily reaches in, lifting a wrapped valuable out of the crate, staring.

"They do not keep, no. I have to wonder what they were thinking. ...Perhaps an enchanted crate, to keep them fresh? ...Is that possible? No matter. The results, they are the same, and the results are..."

Jean unwraps the sweet almost reverently, carefully. Unveiled before him, in all its sticky, warm, freshly baked glory, is...

"Pie."

It is like the platonic ideal of a pie, in the best way. Small, even cuts in the top bleed berry blue, and the golden brown crust ripples in waves around the edges, crackling and crumbling to the slightest touch. The top of the pie rounds out enticingly, betraying its overstuffed insides, filled to the brim with what must be the gloriously sweet bounty of myriad berries. And there's a whole crate of these...

"Everyone gets their fair share, huh? You're givin' that thing a real sultry look there, Jean."

For what its worth, so was King.

Jean glances at King, with a look full of mischievous intent. With a flourish of the quill, Jean closes the book with a snap.

"Indeed so. There are doubtless other crates of pastries for Tetsuha to chew through. This one, however... this one is ours. Fair share."

King returned the expression, grinning "Man, I like you so much more when you're not being all uptight."

He reached over the edge, with a bit of difficulty, scooping his own pie out of the box. Compared to Jean, where it looked rather sizeable in his hands, it was almost comically large next to the diminutive King. He wasted no time tearing off the wrapping, taking a deep whiff of the aroma.

"Ahh... If it is enchanted, we gotta hang onto this box. Anyhow-"

He held the pie for a moment with a look of excitement - but paused, frowning slightly as though he suddenly forgot what to do with it.

"Hrm. Well- oh!"

He set it down on the lip of the crate, scurrying back to the pile of gold items and fishing around again. His tail swayed behind him, until he found what he was looking for and it shot outright.

"There we go-"

He returned holding an assortment of ornate golden utensils. The pies were nice, no doubt, but not the kind of nice Jean would normally associate with cutlery this ornate. King seemed completely unbothered by the contrast, taking his pie once again and plopping himself down cross-legged beside the crate

Jean, meanwhile, is... disrobing? He's in the process of neatly folding his fancy navy coat, with the precision and care one would indeed expect from years of practice. He's only in his undershirt and pants now, though he keeps the hat.

"Pies have a tendency to get messy. I am not risking the coat on an indulgence, berries stain like nothing else. Now..."

Jean grabs a pie, licking his lips, and sits down contently. He already seems to have a knife, getting ready to cut into it, but pauses, glancing at King's golden setup. He chuckles, bemused.

"Never thought I would see the day that you were fancier than I, Rat. Especially with something that is usually considered finger food."

King seems... almost intrigued by this line of questioning "Alright, now I've gotta see - how the hell do Lansians eat pie that you're more worried about it getting on your clothes than your hands?"

He raised one of his hands to Jean

"It might shock you to learn I care about grooming at least a little - I don't want sticky sugar stains on my fur. Especially considering... yknow, stealth, not leaving berry smears on stuff I touch. Kinda a big deal for me."

Jean chuckles primly, sitting up straight and proper.

"Why, it is quite simple. Observe."

Jean cuts into the pie, taking a moment to admire the cross-section bleeding blue-violet, and lifts out the slice easily with the knife. With aristocratic grace, he brings the slice up, hand on the crust and knife supporting it, taking a bite. Not a mark is left on his mouth or clothes. ...Weirdly impressive.

"For all the frustrations of polite society, its lessons on cleanliness are most appreciated. Would you believe there are even etiquette lessons on eating desserts of all kinds? I paid particular attention to those ones. I hate being filthy."

"Well that's something we can agree on." King replied, cutting a small portion out of his pie and popping it in his mouth. An involuntary, contended sigh escaped his lips as he seemed to relax a bit.

"Ah... that's the stuff, wow. I haven't had anything like that in a bit."

He continued chewing, before suddenly opening his eyes and frowning.

"Wait. Back up. You had a lesson on how to eat pie?"

Jean gestures with the knife, eyebrows raised importantly. He seems entirely serious.

"Pies, cakes, parfaits, mousses, éclairs, crème brûlée... there is a proper way to eat all of them, such as to not appear like a... how do you say... prolétariat, a peasant. I studied and excelled. Appearances are paramount, but really, I only cared that they left me spotless. More useful than most lessons I was subjected to, yes."

Jean goes in for another bite, head leaning back a bit with pleasure.

"Mmph. By the Four, it feels as though it has been years since I have had a proper pastry..."

King still seemed a little befuddled by the 'dessert class' thing, but said nothing, instead opting to take another bite of pie.

"Mm... yeah, god. I mean, we've run into plenty of good food but. Not a lot of sweets, huh?"

He took another bite - he was clearly less tidy than Jean, there were already some spots of fruit juice around his lips. Ah well, at least not his hands.

"You have much of a sweet tooth, Jean?"

As Jean takes another bite, he practically looks ready to cry. It's as if he's ready to sink into the pie entirely. He resurfaces briefly, looking at King.

"...You have no idea how long I have been wanting this, rat. It has been so... so bad. I felt as if I was going insane."

Another bite. Although he's taking small bites of the pie, it's clear that he's savoring every moment as much as possible. So that's the answer to King's question, then. Explains why he was so ready to claim ownership of the box.

King begins trying to think of a retort, but seeing Jean enjoying himself so earnestly, decides against it, letting the two of them enjoy their treat in silence. He hoped none of the others smelled the now distinct aroma of fruit - the last thing he needed was Ino or someone barging down here and eating the entire crate.

Though... he glanced down at his own pie. He'd eaten maybe a fifth, fourth if you were generous, of the thing by now, and he felt fairly content. If anything, this was a fair bit more than he'd eat normally, especially for what was ostensibly a snack. The rest of the damn boat was rubbing off on him, it seemed.

"(HOMF)"

What's that sound? If King were to look over, it seems that Jean's will broke and he just took a full mouthful of pie. Forget the learned lessons of high society, the cat needs more pie in him NOW. He must have been REALLY hungry.

"Hmpphooohhh my Gods.... sho good..."

"What part of the lesson taught you to do that?" King snarked, watching Jean with a sort of morbid fascination. They'd eaten breakfast that morning, Morven made some kind of stew, though they'd missed lunch due to all the fighting. Still, King wasn't used to seeing Jean quite so ravenous

Jean flashes King a filthy look over his pie, mouth too full to offer a rebuttal. It's a long time coming (it was a really big mouthful.), but eventually Jean swallows, wiping his mouth on a handkerchief he's produced from a shirt pocket. There's still a bit of berry juice on the corners of his mouth.

"Sh-shut up. I am hungry, alright? I have been craving pie since... since I left home, really. ...Hm."

Jean's eyes unfocus as he realizes how long it's really been since he's had a decent dessert. Even with the pay of a high-ranking navyman, the higher comforts of life were unreachable for him.

"...You already finished with yours? It would be an immense waste to let the rest rot away, now that it is out of the box. Eat."

King snickered to himself, proud of his little jab. His pie sat - more confidently quarter-eaten - in his lap, which he cast a look down at.

"Hehehe... ah, uh, yeah I'm kinda full already. I've been over this, I'm a lil guy. I don't eat much."

He paused, thinking for a moment. His eyes remained locked on the now pac-man shaped pastry.

"... Then again, ah, what the hell. Reward for a job well done, not gonna kill me or nothing."

He took another forkful, clearly enjoying himself

"There we go. That is the way. Our ledger is clean for the remainder of the day, no? Let us indulge."

Jean does, indeed, continue to indulge. While his little bites at the beginning caused him to fall behind, his current large, gluttonous mouthfuls are more than enough to start to catch up with King's progress. That pie is DISAPPEARING.

"Are you-- (nomf) particularly fond of berry pie, rat? Your eyes lit up like a candle when you saw them."

King nodded, mouth currently full of pastry. Eventually he swallowed, and spoke-

"Absolutely - We never had a lot growing up, but my mom found a way to scrounge together the ingredients and all to make this amazing little fruit pie she saved for special occasions. These..."

He looked down at his pie again

"Well, they aren't exactly the same. I've never tasted anything exactly the same. But hers gave me some fondness for sweets. I might've stolen a few treats here and there, back in the city, too."

Jean pauses midbite, looking over at King's pie intently. He looks back at his own pie, comparing the two curiously as he chews slowly.

"...I think your pie is different than mine. Look. Mine has boysenberry. These must all be unique pies, no? Maybe we shall find something close to your childhood pie in here."

Cramming another slice into his mouth, Jean leans over and snags another pie wrapped in paper. He sniffs it, then nods assuredly, unwrapping it.

"Are they labeled?" King asked through a mouthful of his own pie. He frowned. "Actually that probably wouldn't help, I don't remember what she put in it."

He'd made good time, his own pie was maybe halfway done by now. He'd visibly slowed down though, clearly more full than he was used to.

"Also, what's with you suddenly wanting to find my mom's pie?"

Jean pauses in the middle of unwrapping the pie, then continues.

"...Services rendered. You have been an exceedingly useful crew member, and I have been... overly cruel to you in the past. This may be a small repayment, no? If I can go into transports of delight over pie, then you should be able to do so as well."

The paper comes off, and another pie is revealed, steaming as if pulled right from an oven. Surely enough, this one seems a bit different than the last. Jean starts cutting into it already, and this slice seems... a little large.

King blinked, seemingly caught a bit off guard. Jean had always been a bit of a dick, yeah. Hell - the guy never even called King by his.. well, not his name, but the closest thing he was willing to give out. The random kindness wasn't what he'd been expecting.

"Well, alright, I won't say no." A slight grin crept on his face. "What did you just say? A 'transport of delight'?"

Jean rolls his eyes and sighs, proffering the slice of pie.

"Oui, comme vous voulez. Just eat the damned pie, rat. We both saw me grow... indecent with my enjoyment there. Consider this a bribe as well to not tell the others."

He sneaks another bite of pie after this. He's certainly not slowing down... that whole pie is almost 3/4ths gone.

King took the slice from him, taking care to avoid getting juices on his hands. Once satisfied with his handling, he looked back to Jean with a dumb smirk.

"That makes sense. Savior forbid, someone like Ino thought you were being indecent."

He stuck the slice in his mouth, getting a big bite and letting out another happy sounding sigh. King's voice wasn't shrill, by any means, but it was still an uncharacteristically pleasant sound from the otherwise snarky rat. After his bite, he seemed to realize he was in a sudden, awkward position - if he tried to set the remainder of the slice down, it'd probably dribble all over him. Seeing no other option - and, visibly a bit grimaced - he shoved the rest of the slice in his mouth, his cheeks puffed out as he awkwardly chewed.

"The last thing I need is for the captain to smell weakness. This polite front is a weapon, you know. She cannot walk over me as easily like this."

Jean watches King closely throughout this, squinting.

"...So, is this one more familiar than the last? This one had cranberries, from what I smelled. Something a bit different than the last pie."

He polishes up the remainder of his own pie happily, leaving only crumbs left on the paper. After a moment of deliberation, he licks a berry-stained thumb clean. Scandalous!

King slowly nodded, his brow furrowed in concentration and his mouth packed full of pastry. Eventually he swallowed, seemingly taking a bit more effort than usual. Bit off more than he could chew, almost literally.

"Gwuh- fuck, why did I do that. It's... I mean, it's closer." A pause. "Yeah, definitely closer."

He leaned his back against the crate, slumping down a bit and patting his stomach.

".... How the hell do the others eat so much, I'm already stuffed..."

"Closer. Right, so the red made a difference. Let us see here..."

Jean is back in the crate, looking through it intently and taking big deep sniffs. It takes a moment, but there's a pleased exclamation, and he resurfaces with two pies.

"This should be even closer! It has everything the past pie had, and with some extras. No matter what this shall help us narrow it down."

He starts cutting another slice. Hang on, did he not hear King say he was stuffed, or what?

"Uh. Jean? Buddy? I appreciate your enthusiasm and all but, uh, I think I've had my fill."

He glanced at his first pie, still not finished

"Besides, we're just wasting food at that point. Unless you wanna finish my leftovers."

Jean shrugs, dragging over the leftover pie and sitting down closer to the rat.

"It seems quite good, no? Each pie has been a hit so far, this one cannot be bad. Besides, there is always room for dessert. Open up."

Jean takes a mouthful of King's original pie, nodding sagely. This one is even better than the last. Meanwhile, the next slice is already ready for King. In order to get it out of his face, he'd have to push that slice of dreamy pastry heaven aside. Good chance it'd fall apart and splash onto the floor, or even all over King's clothes. ...Is he really THAT stuffed?

King was getting a bit more flush in the face than he'd have liked. He glanced between Jean and the slice being offered to him, gently grimacing.

"Maybe that was part of one of your weird dessert lessons, Jean, but here in the real world, you don't always-"

He paused, sniffing the air. God, that smelled heavenly. There was still a faint bit of steam rising from the glistening, practically jelly-like filling. He DID want it, was the thing, despite his stomach's protests, and a familiar voice in the back of his head teling him to quit it. But...

He looked back over at Jean. Surely, if this guy - the most uptight, proper of them all - was encouraging this sort of gluttony, it... well, maybe it wasn't FINE, but. He could try pushing himself. Just a little. He sighed.

"This is the last one, alright, Jean?"

He took the slice and - this time, spent a bit more time manuevering it, using the wrapper from another pie as a sort of plate. He took a bite, chewing thoughtfully.

Jean again watches closely over mouthfuls of his own. He's still not slowing down, somehow. His undershirt, notably, doesn't exactly cover his midsection as well as it did before. If Jean notices that, he doesn't seem to particularly care.

"...Well? How about that one? Should be closer."

There's something odd about Jean's voice there. His eyes aren't on King's face.

King swallowed his bite, thinking "Uh... It's kinda hard to tell. What was that, strawberry? I think... About as close as before? It's hard to judge this kinda thing."

He stared down at the remaining bit of the slice in his lap, feeling unsure what to do with it.

"Look, Jean, I appreciate what you wanna do, but I don't think this is gonna get me that much closer to figuring out what my mom used. Plus, I- ghWUrp- ugh, by the Four, excuse me."

He sat more upright, stretching a bit. As he did his shirt rode up slightly, exposing a crescent of his cream colored belly. King was normally a pretty skinny guy, with a flat if not concave stomach. Clearly he wasn't kidding about being full, though - his belly was ever so slightly rounded over, distended from Jean's insistence.

Jean was getting there as well. His somewhat larger stature was the biggest obstacle to getting rounder, but his overly lithe frame helped even it out. Even the smallest of lumps would show up readily against his tight, tailored shirt. Jean picks up the slice off King's lap, brushing against the rat's thigh, and lifts it back up to King's face, making eye contact.

"Go on then. Finish it off."

Wh-whoa, what a change in tone. There's an air of command that wasn't there before. And Jean's expression... it's not smug, but there's SOME amount of malicious enjoyment there.

If you open any fairly good dictionary to 'caught off guard', besides the definition is an illustration of a facial expression damn near identical to the one King was making.

"I... what? Jean, I'm not... what are you trying at, here?"

Amazing how you can see blush through fur. How does that work...

Jean leans forwards, practically climbing into his lap. There's a grin on his face now, and his eyes haven't left King's. He pushes the slice forwards. Just in case it wasn't flustering enough already, Jean hooks a thumb into King's mouth, forcing it open.

"Shut up and eat, grosse souris. I demand it."

With that, Jean's cramming the slice down King's mouth. There's not much King can do to stop it. He's already likely weighed down and sluggish with too much pie, leaving him vulnerable to more. It's a vicious cycle.

"Je!- hmpgh!"

"Even if he wasnt full, Jean had a sheer size advantage on King. Holding him down wouldnt be much of a challenge.*

King reluctantly ate, more out of confusion than anything else. His eyes darted around, clearly freaked out by the whole situation.

"Theeere we go. Good boy..."

Jean is smirking, watching him chow down, mask totally off and fully reveling in King's gluttony (even if it isn't exactly his choice). After making sure King's fully committed to eating it, Jean runs a hand around King's mouth semi-mockingly, cleaning up the crumbs left behind.

"Look at you, pie and a half down. How DOES such a little thing pack away all this food?""

King yelled something that was probably along the lines of 'what the fuck, jean!?', but his mouth was full of pie so it came out as a series of muffled noises.

He struggled a bit, trying to free himself from under Jean - but, if his presence wasn't enough, hoo boy was he full. He barely got off the ground before the tightness around his midsection knocked him right back down again.

He looked Jean in the eyes, plainly looking rather afraid of whatever was going on

Jean puts a hand on King's shoulder, almost reassuringly. He's fully leaned into the rat's expanding bulk now, pressing into him intently. The eye contact is finally broken now, as Jean just openly stares hungrily at King's gut.

"I figured it out a long time ago. The way you look at Tetsuha when she polishes off a feast. The glances you steal when Ino finishes her third barrel of grog. And that one time with the seeds... it all adds up, no? You are into this."

Another pie slice. Jean's waiting before pressing it in, though. The cat's apparently savoring the moment, panting a little bit. His eyes look a little wild, almost deranged. How long has he been holding this back...?

"...Perhaps you are rubbing off on me. I have been wanting to see this for a long... long time. You must excuse my indiscretion."

King stared back at Jean, a little berry juice dribbling from his lip, face all but completely flush at this point. He looked as though he was moments from a wild animal tearing his face off, only for it to stop and ask him about the weather. Terrified and completely bewildered.

"... I... I am?"

Jean takes a moment to think, before sitting down (still basically on King's lap), shrugging irritably. Interestingly, the cat seems to be blushing too.

"...Well, if you are not, then this is even more awkward than I thought it was. The flushing of cheeks indicates something to me, no? Work with me, rat, I think we can mutually enjoy this."

The slice of pie sits almost forgotten in Jean's hand, spilling blue drips across the deck intermittently. It's still steaming warm and smells amazing.

King leaned back a bit, visibly relaxing as the 'danger' of the situation dissolved. Though, he was clearly still a bit shaken.

"Fuckin... Gods, Jean, way to come in swinging."

He wiped his mouth a bit, his eyes glancing between Jean and the pie

"I... this isn't something I've really thought about before" He lied, "it's..."

He looked back to Jean's face

"Are you into this?"

Jean glares back at King, still blushing but keeping eye contact, steadfast. The frown seems insincere, colored with something else, like Jean's trying not to smile awkwardly. A hand lands on his hip as he obviously grows defensive.

"...Maybe. But it is YOUR fault. You and the rest of the crew. What is a man to do when his captain walks around without pants, or a giant woman eats her body weight every day, and I am waist height? I have to acclimate, and acclimation turned into... this."

He huffs, looking down at his own midsection. It's noticeably plump compared to his rail thin figure before. Still blushing.

"...It is hard to stay mad at it. Especially when one considers how... soft it makes someone. Pleasant to the touch."

There's a beat. King seems... not entierly off put, but clearly a bit uncomfortable

"... So, gluttony's contagious now? The others got you on board and now you want me to?"

He paused, looking around as though someone might be listening in.

"I... dunno, Jean. I mean, look at me."

He held his arms out, various golden baubles and trinkets clearly visible, alongside the ones adorning his ears

"I already do all this. I think my lil rat body started off with as much greed as I'm gonna fit in it."

Jean raises an eyebrow, finally letting the grin break through. It's interesting to see the overly stuffy cat finally let himself loose. One gets the impression that this is the real Jean.

"Well, have you ever properly indulged this? Have you ever just.. thrown caution to the wind and seen how much you can really handle? I mean... I have not. We can both see what our real limits are, here and now."

King peered down at his slightly protruding stomach. He hadn't eaten this much since... actually, he wasn't sure he'd ever eaten this much, period. And the pie was still delicious.

"I... I guess not?" He muttered. This was not how he expected today to go.

"I really don't know how much more I could pack in here, though." He lifted the edge of his shirt a bit, revealing his stomach more. He sighed.

"Do you... really wanna see me do this."

Jean hunkers down a little, grinning and running a hand gently over King's gut. It's more of a tracing of form than a pet or grope... for right now, at least.

"Yes. Yes I do, King. Here."

Jean offers him the slice. The air is a little less charged now... but it's still got one hell of an indecent vibe. Jean's a few inches from pressing into the rat directly.

King looked down at the slice in front of him, grimacing just a touch. Man it smelled good.

"I'm... hesitant." He mumbled. "But... look, fine, just this once. Just this once, Jean. And you owe me one."

He took the slice from Jean, gingerly biting into it

Jean is too busy inspecting the rat's form to respond immediately. He chuckles quietly, under his breath, like he can't believe what he's doing.

"...I have a feeling I will not have to owe you after this. Je pourrais t'embrasser, souris..."

The hands go under the mouse's belly, lifting it slightly up. It's the most adventurous touch Jean's managed yet.

"Ghwuhgh-" King makes some kind of involuntary noise, nearly choking on the pie mid-chew

"Fuckin'... you're being really forward today, huh"

"I have... literally no idea what has come over me. I am honestly about as surprised as you are."

Jean shakes his head helplessly, moving closer into King's personal space, actually leaning into his bulk now. Midsection presses into midsection.

"I suppose I found one thing we had in common, and one thing just... led to another."

King makes a startled, mouselike squeak as Jean's stomach presses against his own.

"You're... guh, don't think this is something we have in common just yet."

He finishes the slice, clearly a bit overencumbered by the contents of his stomach

Jean's hands, under King's gut, brush against something important for a moment by accident. His hands bolt out from under King's stomach, coming up to his mouth in shock and embarrassment.

"Oh my Four, please forgive me, I--"

He pauses, thinking on what he just felt, and slowly reaches back under King's belly, devious grin slowly returning with a vengeance.

"Well, well. I think I just found evidence we DO have something in common, no? My my. Stiffer than a mizzenmast... I will have some mercy, and not dwell on this. Heh."

It's a good thing he was done eating, considering the noise King made - it's likely he WOULD have choked on that one. He stared back at Jean, face as flush as it could be, clearly infuriated but lacking anything to say in return.

... for a moment, at least. His expression softened slightly, as he seemed to consider something

".. yknow. It's odd that I'd be quicker to accept you're a bugger than... whatever this whole situation is."

Jean stares flatly at King, a strange mix of amused AND unamused. Seems like he's unsurprised by this becoming a factor.

"Of all the things I expected from this, my proclivities for men being a surprise is not one of them. Usually I have to convince people that I enjoy the company of women as well. Lansian aristocratic mannerisms can be... how do you say, frilly. I appreciate the acceptance, though."

King seemed to calm down a fair bit, his usual smarmy grin returning. This was the relationship he was more used to. "Hey, it's nothin'. If you want something we have in common, that's more like it."

Jean smirks, intrigued. THIS was something he was a bit surprised at. Not a lot, though.

"Well, that explains the glances at my backside, then. You are NOT as stealthy as you think you are. Maybe I should grace your quarters with my presence, hmm~? Give you a closer look. It is the least I could do, and I believe you would... enjoy it, no? I am quite experienced."

For right now, Jean is keeping his hands above belt, thankfully. There is a line that he's not crossing. The teasing, though, is relentless.

King snickered to himself "Everyone stares at your ass, Jean. I don't think I was ever trying to be that sly about it. But sure, when I'm not about to explode from pie, I'll take you up on that"

He paused - suddenly seeming almost a bit worried. He had a concerned look, which lasted all of a few seconds before-

"hbWOuurp-"

Big burp right in Jean's face. King's flush face returned

"Guh- ugh, shit, sorry."

Jean blinks, looking windswept. There's a brief, pregnant pause, where Jean seems speechless at what happened. Slowly, though... that grin returns.

"...You do not need to apologize. You seem a little less ready to explode from pie, now. Maybe we should encourage that, no? You just need to have a bit more room..."

Jean puts his hands at ten and two on King's gut, on either side, and leans fully in. His face is alarmingly close to King's, and Jean can feel all of Jean's weight pressing into his stuffed belly, hands massaging and encouraging.

King's eyes widen, and he lets out another, admittedly much smaller burp

"Gh- Urgh, gods, that..."

He paused, looking away from Jean

"That.... actually..."

-# "... feels kind of good"

King does not want to be here right now

"It does, does it? Well, er, good. I may be experienced with... well, men, but this kind of thing is new to me. Hm."

Jean narrows his eyes, pressing and petting experimentally, initial rush of lust fading to something more academic. It still feels good and totally works, it's just more measured now. Thoughtfully, Jean reaches aside and picks up another slice of pie... mercifully, this one's a bit smaller. He's got something mischievous in his eyes, though. What's he planning...?

King, meanwhile, squirms a bit - still unsure of everything going on but clearly a bit more willing to let it happen. He wasn't kidding - his stomach is nearly firm to the touch, it's almost entirely just pie in there. There's enough give for his fuzzy ball of a gut to feel pleasant in the hands, though

"Here. One last slice, and then we can leave off with this. You have been more than indulgent with me."

Jean bows his head for a moment. As he returns to looking up, the slice is... Jean is holding the slice between his teeth, grinning. The message is immediately clear.

The structural integrity of this pie slice cannot be overstated.

Even as clearly off put as King still was about everything, he couldn't help but crack a small grin, almost involuntarily.

"Gods, you... fine, fine, c'mere. But that's the last of it."

He leaned forward a bit, opening his mouth in anticipation

Jean takes the slice out from his mouth for just a moment.

"What can I say. Lanse exports a lot of romantic novels, I felt I could not miss the opportunity, no?"

With that, putting the abnormally sturdy slice of pie back, Jean leans in, eyes closed. The taste of blueberry announces that the pastry's hit home, followed by what is likely the softest pair of lips that King's ever felt. One hand caresses the back of the rat's head, ever a slave to romantic convention, while the other, more carnal one, attends to the stuffed pirate's gut. If one were to look in on the scene (and put aside the obvious bizarre indecency of it), it would almost museum-worthy. Sunlight streaming in through the windows, dappling the duo locked in an embrace...

King savors the moment - food and otherwise. His arms manage to find their way to Jean's back, as he returns the embrace.

-# He would admit chewing and kissing at the same time was harder than he'd expected

The golden, artistic moment passes as both of them realize, simultaneously, that the kiss isn't actually very easy or fun to work around. Hell of a gesture, though, and Jean (even through a mouthful of pie) is an exemplary kisser. One has to wonder if he had classes for that as well, or it was learned behavior. Jean disengages, coughing a bit, awkwardly. He runs his tongue over his lips, experimentally, then chuckles.

"...Still delicious. Magnifique. Not even you could sully the taste of it."

Back to the friendly ribbing. At least it's FRIENDLY this time.

King seems genuinely a bit taken aback by the comment - but just for a moment, as he swallows the pie and just as quickly seemed to forget about it.

"Yeah, same to you. Now then - satisfied?"

He patted his distended belly, clearly still overencumbered

"This- hic- enough for ya?"